I can see your face
Hear you wonderful laugh
And even smell your essence
That puts a smile on me
When I am lost and alone

When I'm in your space
The clowns' make-up gone
I open the windows and doors
You come into me slowly
Take my hand and give me love

Allowing "TheRapist"

From across the room
You look so sure of yourself
But I know
I've been there
I sense your fears

My own self worth is low
I am so lost and alone
But you know
You have been here
You feel my pain

We know love and compassion
We know hurt and confusion
I'll trust you to touch my soul
May I touch you?

Gifts to me

Myriad dreams flying high in the sky
The land like grains of sand in my hand
Whispered thoughts free as the waves
On a beach
Love so encompassing but soft as
A gentle rain
These are special gifts I give to me

Self Hate

What I cannot bear
Is knowing that I wanted you
Not in spirit
Only in body
I hate that predictable response
Of a young woman
To a demanding
Skillful man
I hate that realty
Because it was me
I cannot forgive
I live the intolerable misery
Of hating not only you
But me

Voids

Children always around loving
Old men that need me
Spectacular sunsets and sunrises
Mountains kissed by the sun
Fields painted with the dew
All this is mine to behold
But it never fills me up
The void of voids
Dwells in my soul
Searching, wandering, wanting

I think I need you
I hold you and you me
We become drenched in love
But still I feel so alone
How can I ever be filled?
I look through the eyes of hope
Trying not to give up
Fighting the urge to die
Always trusting I'll be whole
And knowing I will be disappointed
I still break for rainbows

The Mourning After

Rest in the dark shadows
Weary for I have traveled far
Through the thick cold forest
Trudging on through bogs and moors
Skating over freshly iced quicksand
Lost, cold and frightened at times
Snakes slithering about my feet
Demons clawing at my heels
Islands crying in the sun
Rocks eroding from drops of love

Standing in myriad shadows
Fog lying gentle on my back
Mist dancing in my face
Rainbows resting on my breast
Playful elf's tickling my toes
Drops of fresh dew in my eyes
Laughter of children urging me on
Fairies dancing in the moonlight
Her hand searching in the darkness
Mine reaching out to touch love